Differentiation of Self in the Workplace
For many of us a large percentage of our waking time is spent interacting
in work relationships. Workplaces are emotional systems just as families are, in that
the same patterns of reacting under stress are present.
These patterns include triangling, cut-offs, fusion, scape-goating and alliances.
Human service organisations have a unique set of demands in that the focus
is on a personal service to people which can evoke increased subjectivity in work practices.
Anxiety often runs high in such environments and hence there is a heightened challenge
for the worker or manager to self regulate and to take a clear "I" position,
in the midst of pressure to fuse or align with others.
This workshop is run over 2 afternoons for those in helping organisations
(health, counselling, welfare). It examines the common dynamics of work systems under
stress and helps the worker to identify their role in the emotional process.
Murray Bowen as director of the Georgetown Family Centre believed
that if there were problems in the dynamics of the workplace he needed to consider
his own part in the system and define himself in a more differentiated way.
His focus was always on changing self not others.
This is an excellent workshop for coming to grips with Murray Bowen's
theoretical concepts.
Family systems concepts are often readily visible in the work place
in a way that can be difficult to grasp in the subjectivity of our own or our
client's families.
Program:
Part 1
Understanding the Emotional Side of the Workplace. (Note: this does not refer
to emotion as affect but as a process of predictable reactions to relationship anxiety.)
Video excerpt to observe process.
The Two Life Forces: individuality and togetherness.
The desire to think, feel and act for self alongside the desire to fit in,
to think, feel and act like others. How does this tension show itself in the workplace?
Discussion of the uniqueness of working in helping organisations. Exploring
how client anxiety gets absorbed, the prevalence of overly responsible employees
and the strength of the togetherness force.
What does differentiation in the workplace look like? Getting the balance
between the life forces by staying a separate self while staying connected
to others. How is this particularly challenging in the helping professions?
Practicing the language of differentiation: conviction and connection.
Evaluating different types of "I" messages. Which messages truly achieve
the balance of connection and conviction? Case examples of dilemmas that
require a differentiating response.
Questions and discussion.
Part 2
Triangles at work: Keeping the problem in the relationship from which it is
trying to escape. Video excerpt to identify the process of triangles. How do
third parties lower anxiety for people at work? What are the down sides?
Common triangle positions. The ally, the gossip, the problem, the fixer. What
are the consequences of each position for team work and individual effectiveness?
How to de-triangle: identify your role and where the problem or stress
belongs. Re-directing the emotional traffic. Strategising about how each
triangle role can be exited. Case examples used.
Anxiety and reactivity at work. Attack, defend, withdraw. The influence of
family of origin.
What are the circular anxiety dance steps? Over -underfunctioner; optimist
pessimist; aggressive-passive aggressive; dominant-submissive; pursuer-distancer.
Video excerpt to identify patterns.
The key to systems change: start with self. Getting objective in order to think
systems. Developing honest self awareness. Self soothing strategies rather than
detouring anxiety onto people or things.
Wrap up | 
