Coaching Parents to Think Systems
Parent education and therapy that shifts the intensity of child focus
This workshop explores how the therapist can work with parents to facilitate a shift
from an anxious focus on the children, to using themselves as a leadership resource for their children.
Bowen`s concept of the Family Projection Process will form the theoretical backdrop to the workshop.
This describes how a parent`s "undifferentiation" from their own family of origin can be channelled
into an intense child focused projection which creates an emotional crowding effect for the child giving
them less emotional room to develop.
"
It is common for people to voice concern about not seeing a child in therapy if the child is having significant symptoms.
A common view is that the child needs to talk to an interested and supportive person about his distress.
Parents often think that they cannot provide this for their child.
I tell the parents that if they can function with more of a "self" with each other and with the child,
they will become an enormous resource to the child, more of a resource than a therapist can be."
M. Kerr. Interview. 2007.
Program:
Understanding the "fix my child focus". Bowen`s concept of the family projection process.
Engaging with parents who want you to fix their child. How to avoid triangling.
How to open up a systems view in a collaborative manner.
Avoiding a "blame the parent" experience. Pacing the therapy to match level of differentiation.
How to teach parenting ideas without moving into an "over-functioning" expert role.
Getting through the "parental we-ness".
How parents take an "I" position rather than pushing, pulling or other directed punishment of their child.
Helping parents to see the traps of de-selfing and the opportunities for holding their self respect.
The distinction between fusion and genuine loving connection.
Identifying the systems leader.
Using family of origin exploration as a way of opening up a systems view.
Comparisons to other models of parent education/training. "
The success of family therapy depends on the emergence of a family leader.
This is a person who comes to understand better his or her part in the relationship system problem
and is willing to do something about it. They give up hoping others will change,
not out of anger or guilt, but out of the conviction that
they are part of the problem and thus part of the solution."
M. Kerr. Interview. 2007.
| 
