This is probably the central technique in Bowenian therapy.

The client is first helped to recognise both the subtle and the more obvious ways that they are 'triangled' by others, and the ways in which they attempt to triangle others in their turn.  The therapist uses questions to facilitate the family members' awareness of their roles in family triangles.  Simple open ended tracking questions, using what Herz Brown (1991) terms the four 'Ws' (who, what, when and where) help clients to become 'detectives' in their own interpersonal systems.

It is often very difficult for family members to identify the triangles they participate in, and the sometimes covert ways in which they detour anxiety.

An example would be a client who was struggling to understand her negativity towards her father.  When questioning included her mother's role in these emotions, the client began to see that her view of her father was influenced by her position in a triangle.  As her mother's ally in this triangle, she viewed her father as the inadequate husband who left her mother feeling needy.

Once triangles have been identified, family members are helped to plan ways of communicating a neutral position to others, leaving the dyad to communicate directly with each other.

The goal is for a family member to find a less reactive position in the face of the other's anxiety.  This will require different stances in different systems, ranging from refusing to discuss the deficiencies of another behind his/her back, to reversing one's usual reaction in a triangle.  For example, when the predictable pattern in the family system is to keep distance between those who haven't been able to work out their problems, the therapist helps a family member to plan strategies that shift their usual role in maintaining the avoidance.

The family member might encourage more involvement between the conflictual twosome, or change the subject when invited to discuss the conflict.

Reversal is a key detriangling technique.  When for example a family member A complains about how uncaring another person is, person C reverses the predictable sympathetic response, substituting a casual comment about how considerate person B seems for not putting demands on A's time and energy.

Unlike a strategic intervention, the goal of any detriangling stance is not to change the other's relationship but to express one's neutrality about it.  A calm and thoughtful neutral stance prevents one from anxiously reacting to the tension of another relationship by 'taking sides'.